Filed in Food


Oh what’s that you say? Let’s eat something light because it’s hot as Satan’s B-hole everywhere in the world right now?! (Except Antarctica, it’s still cold there right?) Is this remotely healthy? Nah. But if you like creamy, stick to your ribs soup and making your own fries so your house smells like vegetable oil and the incense that you used to mask the oil….then my friend- this is the dish for you!

Firstly, let me make it abundantly clear that I love poutine and it’s in my genetic Canadian makeup to enjoy my countries pride dish. But recently I was having an enriched conversation about different fries combinations or seasonings (shout out to Taco Bell fries yet again. Praise their second coming into our lives this summer) we talked different fats to cook the fries in, curry fries, and then i had the borderline genius, Mensa application idea to make a clam chowder poutine. And once I got home that’s exactly what I did. So be brave, be bold, and trudge your ass long with me and get. You. Some. Seafood. Poutine. You. Queen. (Or king)

Let’s make the clam chowder first, shall we.

  • 4 strips of bacon. Diced into cubes
  • 2 stalks of celery- diced
  • 1 yellow onion- diced
  • 3 cloves garlic- minced
  • 8-10 baby potatoes- quarter them
  • 1 bottle (8 oz) clam juice
  • 2 chicken bouillon cubes
  • 2 cups whole milk
  • 1/3 cup all purpose flour
  • 2 cans diced clams
  • Chives

So, I kinda winged this to be honest. I went to the grocery store without my phone (wtf?!) and couldn’t look up any recipes for guidelines. So in my picture, if you’re a stickler, you’ll see my bacon is turkey bacon. But that’s because that’s what was in my fridge, it worked out fine but real bacon would be better. Why cut calories now, ya know? Also I used whole milk instead of half and half and it turned out plenty thicc. Finally, I bought some little Yukon golds for the potatoes but got home and realized I had left over baby potatoes, the colorful ones ! I used those instead. Anyways who cares. Let’s make this bihhhhh

  • In a large pot ,start cooking the bacon until it’s nice and crispy. Remove the bacon from the pot and let it do it’s thing on some paper towels
  • Leave the fat from the bacon and start cooking your chopped up onions and celery. Get em soft. About 5-7 min. Add in the minced garlic. Give it about a minute and then add the potatoes, which I cut into quarters, but it’s your soup, you do you. Then go ahead and add in your delicious briney clammy clam juice. Bring it to a boil and cook until the potatoes are soft. About 10-15 min. While that’s all melding into perfection, take one cup of the whole milk and whisk in 1/3 cup of all purpose flour. Make it very smooth. You don’t want any lumps. Not even lady lumps. Sorry Fergie.
  • Once the potatoes are good n sawft, slowly start to add in your milk/ flour mixture. It gets the soup thick reaaaaaal quick. Once everything is proper blended, you can add in the second cup of milk to thin it back out a bit. And then, friendo, your soup is doneski.


  • FRIES!!!!!!

Making fries kinda stressed me out TBH. I’ve never really fried anything so I have super limited experience with it. But we rise to the occasion like the bad bitches we are.

  • 1 bottle vegetable oil. Or another oil. Fryer’s choice.
  • 2 large russet potatoes ( I made enough for 2 people, do however many you need. A potato per person)- I left the skins on, because it’s the better way. Period. And then thick cut them.
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Cheese curds for le poutin
  • *ahead of time- take your potatoes and soak them in water for about 30 min to get the starch out. Rinse until the water runs clear. Remove them. Pat their little butts dry and let them chill on some paper towel before you cook them.


  • In a cast-iron skillet bring your oil up to 330 degrees.
  • CAREFULLY add your fries in batches. Cook them about 7 min. Remove back to some paper towel to absorb the excess oil
  • Then bring your oil up to 400 degrees and then DOUBLE FRY!! This is the part that makes them all brown golden delicious crispy heaven. Let em go another 7ish min. Until satisfactory golden.
  • Paper towel them again. Add plenty of salt and fresh cracked pepper.

Okay so everything’s gotta be pretty piping hot while you finally get to bring it all together(!!), in order to achieve optimal cheese pulling goodness.Stack your fries, go in on the curds, don’t be shy, smother with the clam chowder, top with bacon and chives!

*also another side note bc I didn’t nail my grocery shopping experience, I had orange cheese curds, which is fairly sacrilege. Get the white cheese curds. It’s what’s right.


Thank you thank you, I’ll be accepting my Pulitzer whenever Pulitzer’s are handed out.

Xx R


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