Oh hai! Hello. Grascias. Namaste. Shalom!
So if you’re on social media, and specifically if you follow me and or some of the other girls on Total Divas you would have seen that Lana and Rusev got married this week! The other day. like 2 days ago. CONGRATULATIONS TO THEMMMMMM!!!!! It was a very pretty wedding in Malibu…and, well, you’ll see more of it when the show airs. But while I was attending this wedding I learned some things. And now, dear people of the internet, allow me to share these deep rooted insights with you on this here blog here.
I haven’t really been to a lot of weddings. But one rule I know right off the bat is DO NOT WEAR WHITE. This applies to both sexes. You’re not in the clear dudes.
ALWAYS tell the bride she looks pretty as often as possible.
DO NOT assume everyone is happy crying at the wedding. NOT EVERYONE IS!!! And if you get awkward and uncomfortable around people displaying a wide range of emotions…..get your shit together and don’t run away from your table in a fit of uncontrolled laughter, you maniac. (That note was more a DM to myself. I’m a stupid half baked adult.)
DO learn a few updated dance moves. Dance moves have really taken on a new life form in the last 3-5 years. Youtube that shizzzzz and figure it out. Not like my two stepping ass. Be better than me.
DO NOT OVER DO IT ON THE DANCE FLOOR. This is a family affair. Unless you drank too much. The send out thank you cards with a lotto ticket inside to whomever you deem necessary.
SECURE boob inserts. Secure secure secure.
DO bring sunglasses to the beach wedding. Because the sun.
DO eat the cake.
I deeply considered bringing baby Blue to the wedding. But I think it would be frowned upon. Mostly because he’s really in full swing of his humping phase.
Okay so those are some of my rules of thumb. But like I said earlier, I don’t really go to weddings, I don’t know much about them at all….so I just googled “wedding etiquette” Let see what these jerks say….
“Internet: Don’t bring a large gift to the wedding
Me: I’ve never met anyone that said no to a big gift, Also you’re the one that sent me the registry. Make some trunk space!
Internet: Don’t forget to turn off your phone.
Me: Follow me on snapchat :ReneePaquette (Diddy)
I: Do pay attention to the dress code
M: I kinda thought not wearing white was the only fashion rule. Aside from a mesh dress, I wouldn’t recommend that. Unless you’re in Vegas, then follow your slutty heart Guuuuuuurl.
I: Stay out of the photographers way
M: Tell that photographer to stay out of my awesome.
I: Don’t talk forever.
M: Like for the whole night? To someone in particular? Grab the MC’s mic and tear that b$#%& up!!
Well that’s all I got for you today. Ever had something great/ hilarious/ awkward happen at a wedding? Spread the word in the comments section!!